A Husband’s Perspective on Work at Home Moms
We have a special guest on the blog today – one of my favorite people in the whole world…My amazingly supportive husband is joining us from the comfort of his laptop. He’s been in the trenches with me for almost 18 years. This is his view on what it takes to make it work when you’re married to a work at home mom – unscripted and real. Enjoy hearing one husband’s perspective!
The husband of a VA mom has a role to play in helping the wife be successful. Just as in a marriage, it takes both to make things work. If you want to hear a husband’s perspective, I look at my supporting role of the husband as:
- the encourager,
- the rock, and
- the enforcer.
Over the course of our 18 years of marriage I have always encouraged my wife to try new things, to get outside of her comfort zone. I truly believe that if it was not for that encouragement in many different endeavors, that this networking site would not exist. Everything that she has done with her life, career, etc. has helped prepare her for this opportunity. So, the encouragement doesn’t just start from nowhere and “bam” you have a great new opportunity in front of you. It has happened over the course of 18 years of encouraging my wife into areas that she would otherwise not have gone. To her credit, she has faced the challenges head on with a determination that would make General Patton proud.
I wish I could say that this was in reference to me having the physique of Dwayne Johnson…..but alas, no. Every wife needs to have a touch stone. A place to come back to, whether it is for more encouragement, a place to bounce ideas off of, or someone who can pick up some slack around the home when things get busy and my wife needs to focus. So husbands, for your wife to be successful as a VA mom you need to get out of the man cave once in a while and see where you can help pick up the load and be the rock that the foundation of her business ventures start on.
If you are a VA mom, then obviously there are kids around. As husband and dad, it is important that I be the enforcer of rules when mom is busy. Rules are in place to help guide and protect our children. Enforcing rules consistently and timely is important to the well being of our children.
We have agreed upon rules in place. These are the rules that we both enforce together. When my wife is busy and the kids are doing things that they shouldn’t, it is my job as the Enforcer to make sure that the kids are toeing the line. Kids are cunning. They know which parent is less strict in given areas. Each parent has his or her own areas that are more important to them to enforce than others. That is why the agreed upon rules are important.
I for one grew up drinking lots and lots of pop. It was always around, free to grab when I chose. Not saying that was the healthiest thing, but I survived. I still like my pop. Maybe if I didn’t drink so much of it I would have the Dwayne Johnson physique…….nah, probably not.
Back to my point, my kids know I am a pushover when it comes to asking for pop to drink. But my wife, on the other hand, is an expert on the unhealthy and clinically scary things that can happen to the human body when you take a swig of good ole’ Coke-a-Cola. As such, she has strict rules on how much, when, and where the kids can have pop. As the Enforcer, I know this and so I try to limit the pop drinking (kids only) because I know it is important to my wife. I, on the other hand, am on a fast track to acquiring dentures, osteoporosis, and type 2 diabetes.
So husbands, be the Encourager, Rock, and Enforcer that your wife needs to be so that she can focus on her ventures. Being a mom is a full time job in itself. Being a good dad is too, and often we husbands are guilty of making it a part time job that we only clock in when we want to.
How about you…what kind of support system do you have? Is your husband’s perspective anything like this one? Share in the comments below.
(…or if you don’t have much in the way of backup, please drop me a line at Teresa@VAMomsNetwork.com and we’ll figure out how to develop a support network for you! You don’t have to go at this alone!! )